When Did We Stop Just Hanging Out?
As I sat waiting for my dear friend and weekend guest, Hannah, to arrive at my house on Friday, I started thinking...
Pick a fabric that is structured-it will be more flattering than a soft fabric.Let's take two Anthropologie dresses as examples. This dress? It's gorgeous. The print might be a little busy for most brides, but in the rusty orange it would have fit right into my fall wedding and those of many other brides. At first glance, it's a nice choice.
// My friend/aunt/mom/co-worker was just diagnosed with breast cancer. What should I say/not say/buy/don’t buy?Reading this over at The Mom Edit, formerly Ain't No Mom Jeans, spurred me to want to talk about fertility-again. You'll remember, perhaps, that I don't use the word "infertility" or "infertile" for the following reasons: we, like many couples, don't (yet?) have human children. As far as we know, we've never conceived a child. However, so many women do get pregnant and miscarry early so can you call them infertile? What if one member of a couple could conceive but the other can't? Is the entire couple infertile? Of course, I know all too well the stats about what constitutes "infertility" in the medical world (trying for 1 year+ if the woman is under 35, 6 months+ if over 35 plus some other stats if you have medical issues), but I refuse to see us-or any other person-as infertile. Come tell that to my overflowing garden or my thriving, rambunctious dogs, or my blooming business.
This is worthy of a whole article, but in general I found cliched reassurances like, “It’ll all work out” or “you’re so strong, it’ll be OK” very discouraging. Cancer is scary, and the truth is that it may not “all work out”. I found frequent phone calls and notes from friends (a few sent letters before every treatment) to be the best possible gift. A good opener from a friend who called every week was, “Do you want to talk cancer, or just bullshit?” Gift cards for takeout restaurants were gold. And anything to make hospital/ doctors visits more comfortable were really helpful. (Hello, pretty scarves, slippers, cute hats.)