Where to Find Cross Back Bras in A Range of Cup Sizes

Where to Find Cross Back Bras in A Range of Cup Sizes

Hi guys! Remember me? I've been really ignoring this space of the world, and I apologize! Some of the things we have been up to lately include putting our house on the market and looking at homes in Baltimore. It's so exciting but also a LOT of work, especially with my husband traveling most of the week lately. Phew!

I wanted to pop in and share some great finds with you. I recently became obsessed with the idea of wearing some open and drapey backed shirts this summer; have you seen the look I'm talking about? Like this.

Via

I never felt comfortable with open back shirts because I need a bra, and my bras I guess didn't feel pretty enough to show off or felt too much like that one season of Sex in the City where all we saw was bra, bra, bra, but the arrival of some gorgeous bras with strappy backs lately got me thinking that this could be the summer of the back!

Rules to Break: Plus Size Boho

Rules to Break: Plus Size Boho

Have you noticed that almost every time you see bohemian chic it's on a stick skinny woman? I'm starting to feel like there's an unspoken rule that curvy women, including plus sizes, should not wear festival-inspired, boho chic. I even had a gorgeous, curvy client ask me the other day if she was "allowed" to wear a boho style. Of course!! 

So today I'm here to say that I'm thrilled about the trend toward breaking that ridiculous rule. A site that has incredible options is ModCloth, which I typically love for retro looks, but they've got so many amazing styles for this summer, too! 

Via

They also have

Reader Q&A: What Should I Wear on a Date?

Reader Q&A: What Should I Wear on a Date? 

Thanks to Molly for sending in a question about ideas for a date for plus sized figures. I loved answering this question because there are so many gorgeous options out there! Molly described not finding anything that felt special, but I think i've found some great choices!

Embrace Color. I find that many of my clients of all sizes tend to shy away from color on a date, but I really recommend that you consider wearing a bold color, especially if you wear plus sizes. Why? You've got the curves and shape to really make an impact, and a date is the perfect place to show them off! Plus, a bold color is confident and happy, which are two things I'd love to see walk through the door on a date, wouldn't you?

Via

And say yes to bringing flowers to your date, too! 

Via

Dress for the Occasion. In your search for something special, don't lose sight of the fact that not all dates are created equal. Your first stop in picking out what to wear doesn't need to be

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Your dresses; in fact, a dress might be an awkward choice if you're having an active date. Or, if you're just not into dresses, don't force yourself to wear one! Show up like yourself. You'll never go wrong. 

Via

I like how she's showing off her gorgeous legs and neck like a dress would, but she's able to be active in the capris and flats. She could take off the jacket if it warms up but also be covered up if she doesn't want to get too much sun or gets cold in a restaurant in the evening. 

Be Cheeky. On the other hand, if you love wearing dresses or have a new one you really want to wear, do it! Just because you're going to a baseball game or something doesn't meant you need to force yourself to wear shorts or pants. I think it's fun to wear something special (like this dress) with something that nods to the date event (like the cap in the image below!)

Via

Or, keeping with the sporty theme, what about this top with a skirt or under overalls?

Via

Wear a Bold Pattern. When I lived in New York City, my dad would often take me out to eat on Thursday nights. We called it "Match.Com Night" because almost every other table was occupied by a pair who had clearly just met each other. These days it could be "Tinder Night." Every single person, to the person, wore black. Here in DC it could be beige or navy. Don't fall into that trap. Even if it's a Thursday night and you're coming to the date right from work, bring something patterned and put it on in the bathroom. Even if it's black and white like this gorgeous tribal print! 

Via

Why? A pattern stands out from the crowd and is memorable. Even in a group setting where you might meet a possible romantic interest, don't we all say "Remember the one in the striped shirt?"

Via

Channel Your Inner Superheroine. There's something very empowering about dressing up like a superhero, don't you think? A date night (or just a night out) is the perfect time to bring out your inner Wonder Woman. Wearing something that feels a bit like armor might give your heart the chance to soften up. It's like reverse psychology clothing! 

Via

The tube top above can be tricky since it requires a strapless bra, but why not try it with a tank top under and have the straps show? Or wear it under a blazer with a regular bra. Or do it up with a corset...which brings me to underwear! The same super heroine trick goes for what you wear underneath! It can help you feel confident even if no one but you sees it--but especially if they do! Oh wow! They actually have Wonder Woman undies, too! 

Sorry. I got distracted. 

Thanks again, Molly! Thanks for writing!

For the Love of Cropped Pants

For the Love of Cropped Pants

On Monday, I wrote about bringing a little edge to the office. A key component to that look was cropped, or ankle, pants. I don't know why, but I just find that lately cropped pants are the answer to every outfit question that I have: how can I show off these cute new shoes? Cropped pants. What can I wear to the office to make this outfit feel less boring? Cropped pants. What can I wear to convince myself that it's almost spring? You got it. 

Via

I particularly like how a shorter length pant, preferably with a narrow leg, can go anywhere, with any shoe, on many body types. Here's what I mean.

2015 Bathing Suit Trends: Cover Ups for All Shapes and Sizes

2015 Bathing Suit Trends: Cover Ups for All Shapes and Sizes

Via Title Nine

In my teens and 20s, the idea of a cover up never occurred to me. What else would you need by the pool or at the beach but a towel? Now, in my 30s, I love a good cover up. Not just because my life tends to lend itself more to going from one activity to the next, and not just because I'm more concerned about sun exposure (which I am), but also because I've realized how stylish they are. They're what makes an ok swimsuit feel special. 

Here are some of my favorites for you to consider!

My Favorite Plus Size Bathing Suits for 2015

My Favorite Plus Size Bathing Suits for 2015

The retro styling! The stripes! The high waist!

I work with several clients who identify as wearing plus size or curve size clothing. I try to be careful not to separate styles into sizes because I truly believe that most styles work regardless of your age, height, weight, etc. However, I am sensitive to the fact that many women think carefully about swimwear and how it fits because it's so vulnerable to be nearly naked. 

For that reason, I'm spending a bit of time talking about curve sized swimwear today. That and there are so many great options! My recommendations for swimwear options in curve sizing are: Torrid, Swimsuits for All, some Asos, Macy's, and ModCloth.

First, Swimsuits for All. You must check these out, especially the Gabi Fresh line! They're incredible, sexy, and look supportive in all the right places. I adore them. Here's a look at them on Gabi Fresh herself.

The patterns! I can't get enough of that green print! And I love the high waists on these two piece suits, don't you? 

Macy's

So, if you like the flattering cut of a high waist but don't want to show off your midriff every single time you wear a swimsuit,

How to Pick a Very Flattering Dress

How to Pick a Very Flattering Dress

Recently, I stopped by Dress Barn and was reminded of how good some of their dresses are. I went there for the first time last summer in the Outer Banks, and I got one of my favorite Calvin Klein dresses. 

This weekend, I was struck by how well Dress Barn does something: they know how to pick a flattering dress. However, there are plenty of unflattering dresses there, too, which got me thinking: do you know how to pick a dress that will look amazing on your figure?

Let's take a look at some of my favorites, which tend to show up at Dress Barn in a great range of sizes, including petites and curve sizes. 

Notice anything? See how they've all got some ruching, some extra fabric gathered over to one side?

That's what I like for you. That's what I like for most women because it calls some attention away from our very practical warm egg-incubator, softer middle parts and draws the eye to the rest of our bodies. What if you tried on every dress with ruching that you saw in a store and picked one to wear?

Now here's another flattering style dress. It's a bit hard to see on this first maxi style because of the pattern, but can you pick it out?

The black, white, and yellow shows it off more easily: a high waist. A waist of a dress should hit you up by the bottom of your ribs, at your true waist. A great dress will hit you there, showing off the natural curve of a woman's body and floating down from there.

Why not scope out just the dresses with a high, defined waist and try those on in your size and the size above and below yours, just to be sure that it fits you correctly?

And last, what about this dress? At first glance, it doesn't do either of the things I've suggested here: it has neither a defined waist nor ruching. Hmm...

However! I include it here because one of the stripes across the dress does hit at the natural waist, and I think the stripes in the fabric could be flattering enough to act as ruching. But, a shift dress can be tricky on the lower belly. I'd need to try this one on myself, but don't ignore something that doesn't exactly fit in with what you're looking for. Plus, the blue was very pretty in person, and lace is still in style for spring. And, it's lace! It's going to be in style for a long time to come. 

As always, if you have any favorite stores you'd like me to window shop for you, keep those emails coming! 

Bras That Don't Squeeze You

Bras That Don't Squeeze You

David Whyte, the poet and author whose poem inspired the name of this blog and my business, says something funny in one of his CDs; he says a woman once came to hear him read and speak and told him that she'd put her bra back on to come out and hear him. He was confused, and she explained what all women know-once your bra is off for the night, it's unlikely you're going anywhere! He was honored once he understood.

I've been suffering with a different sort of problem, you see. I've been undoing my bra left and right-mostly while driving home-but sometimes in less convenient places, too. I found that no matter how many times I got a bra fitting (even with the new, more accurate way of bra fitting!), my bras just seemed too tight! Do you ever feel like you're in a vice grip, like you can't breathe? I did. I even got a nursing tank top one time to wear down to New Orleans under my clothes because that was the only thing I could figure out that wouldn't press on my shoulders (like a sports bra) and had a band that I could shift around on my sides and back so that it wouldn't squeeze me. 

Then, about a month ago, I tried on a bra (actually a "bralette") in a very unlikely place: American Eagle. So random, I know! But it had something I thought could work-really wide sides. I ended up buying this one with the racerback and another with the adjustable back. I prefer the adjustable because you can hook the little hook it has and make it a racerback, but sometimes that hurts my shoulders and so you can undo it, too. Also, the straps show under some of my shirts with the racerback. I like them so much that I bought two more adjustables this weekend. 

Now, let me be clear. This is a wireless, unlined bra without padding. It's not super smooth under clothing. But, it's very comfortable. Check the sizing online if you get one. They go from XS-XXL. I went up one size from my tshirt size, but I didn't want any tightness around my back at all. My regular tshirt size fit me but just a bit tight. It might be worth going to try one one if you're considering it. 

I think this style bralette would be a great at home bra for most women, even if you want more support outside of the house. And, I've searched around for a variety of sizes for us since originally all I could find were for A-B cups. Which, if you are a AA-A cup, this is so gorgeous! And this one! 

Hanky Panky makes incredibly soft underwear, and I bet their bralette would be incredible; I love those wide bands around the front and back! I'm seeing them at a few stores like this one for A and B cups at Neiman Marcus and this one by Free People for A and B cups at Nordstrom. I love the look of this one, best for A-C cups at Nordstrom, too. Modcloth has some adorable ones, like this one that's out of stock but worth checking back in for! 

Torrid sells a crop lace bralette with a lot more structure in sizes 1-3, but it still sits nice and low on the body so I think it would similarly take pressure off the mid back. They also make a push up style that has a thick band, too. Very sexy! 

If you're having middle back pain, I'd strongly recommend that you try out one of these easy bralettes even if it's just at home. 

Holiday Pieces that You Can Actually Wear More Than Once A Year

Holiday Pieces that You Can Actually Wear More Than Once A Year

We've reached that time of year when everything is basically on sale-and you have 100 things to do. And while I try not to just enable everyone to shop for clothing all the time, that is kind of going out the window right now. Because here's the thing, most of us have some invitations coming in the mail this time of year. Whether we're getting in cars or on planes (headed to Charleston this week myself!) or having people come to us, we're going to be seen. And what will we wear? Most of us can get it together for one event, but when there are a few in a row it can start to feel overwhelming. That's why I'm here! To help. So you can do the fun things-like baking cookies to leave on a neighbor's doorstep!

Here are some ideas for things to buy, but also some things to look out for that you might already own. My idea is that you can look out for one statement piece and then pair it with basics (jeans, black pants, a pencil skirt), or do the opposite and just look for really flattering, simple pieces that you could pair with basics (or get crazy and pair them with sequined pants!), or even wear a monochrome look. And no, it doesn't have to be all red. Or all green.

And I've included pieces for women who wear plus sizes, nursing women (but those choices work for non-nursing too), and women of all ages. Because my friends come over in all shapes and sizes-and sometimes needing a way to breastfeed without a fuss! 

Sometimes all you need is one great piece: 

What about a gorgeous wear-with-everything blouse
an edgy, but comfortable sweatshirt
a sweet graphic t-shirt to dress up or down
a jaw-dropping dress (in curve sizing)
the coolest elastic waistband pants anyone ever wore to Thanksgiving ever
Or their slightly fancier but still cooler than your black work pants twin
A cheeky sweatshirt to wear with a sequined skirt or with PJs in the morning
A stunning top that you can wear with literally anything on the bottom
A t-shirt that's just a joy to wear
A sweet as candy sweater that you could edge up with ripped denim
Needing nursing friendly options? What about a nursing friendly cardigan (love the styling here)

poncho

or perfect plaid with edge shirt

Let's be realistic here. If you're going to wear this more than one time, you need to keep it simple (and washable):  

The most gorgeous, simple dress you can wear every day like it's leggings-or heck, even with leggings!
Just the most simple, stunning blouse
Is there anything sexier than off-the-shoulder? And curves?
Wear these dots with bigger dots on a skirt, with stripes, with plaid, with jeans, with a skirt...with green ham

Nursing mamas: wrap dress with rouching? Oh baby, this is calling your name!
 Moonbeams indeed. This is gorgeous.

Don't be afraid to get down with monochrome (even in a color other than black!)

Who says pink isn't for Christmas?
I love this cranberry multi layered top so much, I want to marry it.

I love the words elegant and forgiving in describing a sweater that I'll eat a huge meal in.

Photography: Lauren Modny Photography
Party & Prop Styling: Love Always Hannah
Stylist: StartCloseIn

My Review of the New Mango Curve Sizes Site

Mango Curve Sizes

I think we're all working through what to call sizes, and there are some alternatives to "plus size" that I really like. Personally, I wish more stores just mixed all of their sizes and models together instead of having "women" on one page and "plus size" on another. I'm often browsing the "plus size" or "curve" sections and wishing those same styles were represented in more sizes, and I know the opposite is certainly true. And I'm not sure that "curve size" really explains anything since curves occur on many sizes of women, and separating plus size or curve size from "women" implies that the women who wear those sizes are somehow, what? Not women? I have a feeling that we're getting to a better place on all of this, and I look forward to being a part of that conversation.

Mango just recently launched a line they call "curve sizes," titled Violeta. I have not seen any of their clothing in person so I'll be reviewing their site and their look today.

First, the website. It's a bit confusing because their sizes listed on the main US/English page are 40-52. If you click into the individual images of the clothing and go to select your size, you'll see American sizing (sizes 8-20) as well as a size guide. I think that could be more clear on the main page. I'm not sure most American women in a size 8 would click on the "curve size" tab, but it appears that size gets to double-dip: there are size 8 mediums in the "women" section as well as in the Violeta section. That's a bit confusing.

Next, their style. Here are a few things I'd like you to know about shopping at Mango-in all of their sizes.

First, their styling can seem a bit dowdy, especially the images they choose as their main images. I'm not sure why they do this, but it's really worth it to take the time to click on anything you might like. If you hover the mouse over each image, you'll see it off of a model, but that often doesn't tell you much. Once you click through, you'll see a few ways to wear each piece, and the second images are often much more stylish. Here's an example from Violeta.

Friday Round Up: Favorite Swimsuits for 2014

Friday Round Up: Favorite Swimsuits for 2014

I'm rounding up a week that included a few summer and beach posts with my round up of current favorites. Some are affordable, others are pie-in-the-sky suits. But, I will say this: they're all gorgeous. I think no matter how much you're spending on a swimsuit, you're more likely to want to wear it if it fits well and is beautiful. And I'm all about getting everyone in the water and romping on the beach!

B&W Beauty

Not only does this suit by H&M have a gorgeous high-waisted bottom that goes along with it, it could also easily be paired with your favorite black, white, or bright bottom. Divine! Want a print that's not B&W? You can't beat this leopard print number.

Even just picking something like black and white can help to narrow down your choices, which might make trying on bathing suits less daunting. Kohls has some great, mid-range options this season! I love the dotted one piece above. I especially like how Kohls has talls and maternity suits, too.

Not Your Teenage Daughter's Tankini

This top is so cute! I've written about my love for layers on a bathing suit before, and it has not waned! As a woman with a chest that needs a bit of support, I used to shy away from strapless, but I have a suit from this store that stays up very well. I think with the middle covered, it can be nice to have a bare shoulder. Also, this is a pricier top, so I'd skip the bottom it comes with a sub in any black bottom (or a red for fun!). If you're looking for straps, this one seems to come in a D cup, too. This Magicsuit tiered ruffle is still my personal favorite-I wear my hot pink one with unmatched bottoms all the time. Kohls has a similar one for far less (in plus sizes, too!) in more patterns. I'm pretty fascinated by this one, too.

Want a strapless bikini and don't need much support? This one is stunning. 

Boho on the Beach

 

The crochet racerback on this pistachio colored suit is what makes it incredible. I can't seem to save that image, but it's worth clicking through to see. Looking for a louder print? Try JCrew.  

Sporty for Petites

I love that this bikini looks like it would actually stay on during swimming, and the smaller cup size is great for my A and B cup friends. But, it's the color and that cool shoulder action that really caught my eye!

A similar show stopping option for A or B cups here or try Old Navy's balconette.

One Piece Marvels

There are so many cute one pieces that I just adore this season! But, pressed to pick a favorite, it would be a polka dot like this one from ModCloth. But, I also love the draping on this beauty from H&M! And this ruched tank from JCrew is just gorgeous.

Reader Q&A: What Should I Look for in a Plus Size Swim Suit?

Reader Q&A: What Should I Look for in a Plus Size Swim Suit?

You may have read on Friday that recently a friend asked me about finding a great plus size swim suit. We talked about her desire to feel layered up and covered but also wanting to include her personality in her swimsuit. She had a few specific questions for me, too:

What is most flattering around the belly?
What's the deal with wearing a skirt?

What are some fun/flattering ways to cover up?

Do I have to wear a pattern?

These are great questions that I think women of all shapes and sizes share! I've got some ideas for all shapes and sizes here, and if you want to see more, I pinned more than I could post on my StartCloseIn board.

Around the Belly: Don't Shy Away from Separates

I understand the desire to not always show off your stomach at the beach, but that doesn't mean you have to wear a skimpy bikini or else be covered head-to-toe. There are lots of good choices in the middle.

For example, I really like the trend of wearing a swim shirt (ok, ok, a "rash guard," but that just sounds like something you'd need to see a doctor for) because it is so protective of your skin while you're out in the sun. But they've come a long way since my dad tried to make us wear wetsuits! You know I love stripes by now, and this swim shirt by Land's End is no exception! It looks like it wouldn't be too tight around the mid-section, either.

If you're ok showing off your middle and are looking for more va-va-voom, a lot of stores have beautiful separates with vintage cuts that are very flattering for curvy shapes. If you're not completely sure and just want to test out the look, try somewhere cheaper, like Forever21, and look for pieces like this gorgeous halter top in multiple bright colors.