Thursday, July 31, 2014

When Did We Stop Just Hanging Out?

When Did We Stop Just Hanging Out?

As I sat waiting for my dear friend and weekend guest, Hannah, to arrive at my house on Friday, I started thinking...
It had been so long since I had a friend over just to hang out. Normally I have friends over for dinner, to a party, for an event, or at least for something quite structured.

Even this weekend was planned when I thought we'd be in our two week wait after the IVF round we didn't do in June after all, and I had reached out because I thought I'd need support. I felt so proud of Hannah and me that we kept this time together on the books.

Mostly, I was looking forward to the unstructured time. Since I didn't know how I'd be feeling, we didn't plan much beyond magazines, Bravo, and maybe a little pool time. After the decision about the IVF was made, we added a photo shoot to our weekend, but that's pure pleasure for us. Mostly, she was just coming to hang out.

As a little kid, we're all so comfortable asking friends if they want to come over and play. Sure, sometimes it's with a specific toy or to play a favorite game, but I remember long periods of time where we'd just figure it out as we went along.

Somehow, I lost that. Somehow, after stopping living with friends before moving to Chicago, my time with my friends feels very structured. I long to get back to that time where it was ok, even common, to just say "want to come hang out?" I think I don't because I worry that they'll say no or that I'll be boring somehow...

I think I've found a new addition to my August Happiness Project. What about you? (How) do you make plans (or un-plans) with friends? I'd love your ideas on this!

1 comment:

  1. Life gets in the way...sigh. If I run into a friend when I'm out, I suggest we go to lunch or coffee. Sometimes I will call them and just see if they're busy and if not ask them if they want to go shopping or whatever. But I don't do it enough!
    Oh dear! I have to work on August's Happiness